Dear Sons,

This is me (Part I)

It’s been awhile since my last blog post and I have been feeling partially guilty, and to be honest, completely too busy to even gather my thoughts. To simply take a moment to recollect the present, to exhale the contemplations and inhale the prospects. So tonight, I omit the excuses to collate and I regurgitate my thoughts as they simultaneously enter my mind. So excuse the rough draft, this is utterly raw and uncut.

My dear sons, there are going to be so many blog posts I’m hoping I’ll be given the opportunity to dedicate to you. Some prompting social etiquette, personal hygiene, my hopes and dreams for you and most importantly my love for you. But in this post, this post I want to bare a little more of my soul so you are aware of who I am, yes me, your mother. Not as the person that was your personal chauffeur, your nanny, the cleaner, the housewife, the dance studio owner, the student, the employee, the listener, the friend, the mother….but as Kristin!

My dear sons, I have lived. I’ve traveled across many seas from America and Canada for school, dance trips, holidays, ski school, gymnastics, to Haiti for missionary work, to London to study and live, throughout Europe, to than Australia. If there was fun to be had along the way, I’ve had it. I’ve welcomed all walks of life with open arms. I’ve dismissed the stereotypes, the generalisations, the castings and most importantly the judgements of others reluctant to dismiss negativity and bitterness themselves. I loved life in every sense and I made sure you were along my side for every part of the adventure. I spent my 20s selfishly, and why not? I assumed I had the later years to have kids, so I partied and threw caution to the wind like I suppose many my age did (although that didn’t sway my desires). I envisioned having my first child at 30, and I did. I may have only envisioned one child (that being a girl) neither of which came to fruition but I wouldn’t change it for the world! I was blessed with four well mannered, very handsome boys! Four boys I call my own. Four boys I carried within me and birthed naturally via waterbirth. K Boyz I-IV you changed my world, I know so cliché, but you did, and through all the frustrations I face daily as a parent, I am comforted in the blessings of having you.

So my dear sons, this is Part I of my letters to you. Your mother who loved with her all even through adversity. Who continued to give, even when many times it may have gone unnoticed. Who chose to lead her life with passion and chose to run a business giving everything she had because she loved those involved. Who always found a silver lining on a cloudy day. Who battled the urge to return home to Bermuda to be surrounded by an abundance of love from friends and family to provide you with more opportunities here. Who believed in people and their desire to grow. Who nurtured the many interests you shared as kids simply because I still enjoyed being a kid myself. Who every so often lost the flow to write but than found a spark hidden deep within. Who wore her disappointment of others until there was a need to simply remove the cloak. Who genuinely shared her support and love. My name is Kristin, I may have been blessed with four beautiful boys, but I was also blessed to simply be me!

Here we go again…