Until We Meet Again

S h e ‘ s • g o n e

I tried to write a poem, expressing the sadness that has swept inside of me. But the words didn’t seem to clearly convey or describe the emptiness I housed.

Your suitcases have left and now the space is vacant. The door to enter my room is no longer met with you tucked behind it accessing your belongings, and me having to apologise for me bumping into you.

Mornings I will no longer wake to you having cut up the fruit and veggies, and stack the snacks to help me with packing the 3 lunchboxes. The dishes packed away from the dish drain and warm soap sods mounting as you wash up the breakfast mayhem.

Returning from school drop off to precisely folded clothes you’ve washed, hung out, brought in and folded every single day. Little piles no longer lining my TV unit for the kids and myself to pack away.

Watching you work out daily to the old school 80s aerobics online videos, which prompted us all to join in briefly will be missed. Even waiting for you to return from your hour walk.

Car trips are back to everyone onboard which sadly replaces quality time with nana whilst I run around to school runs, therapies or extracurricular activities.

Retail therapy won’t be the same. It will always only be what I need compared to our extended stays in each store. One item was the intention, a full shopping trolley later….hahaha well we had great intentions.

Bath and shower times are no longer met with extra hands to dry between tiny fingers, toes, place hair towels on, and massage moisturiser in.

Our evenings jam packed with noise. Singing, dancing, Wordle and Scrabble competitions and learning Sudoku! Once the kids were tucked in bed, I loved my time debriefing, venting, laughing, sneaking snacks with you in my bed. No longer will there be 3 in the bed with Miss Knala kicking my back and wedging her noggin in yours.

The highlight of course whisking away to Sydney to watch your grandson on the big stage in such an incredible show and then back for another short stay to support Bella.

So many memories made, so much love exchanged. So many beautiful moments of reflection and observation was welcomed by me as the interactions you made with each of your grandkids. You beautifully weaved time into each of them.

You left an everlasting bond between yourself and all of us. Even your parting moments with each of us individually in your “office” was heartfelt, and something we will cherish forever. What mattered most…..

You made me feel seen. You made me feel heard. You made me feel valued. You made me feel loved. You told me how PROUD you were of me and how I am an AMAZING mum. And that…..that is everything to me! Thank you for being exactly what the doctor ordered for all of us. We needed/need YOU!!! I know it’s not farewell and it’s a see you soon but I am already yearning for you to return. Thank you mum, for being amazingly and awesomely you! Your patience, your abundance of love, you are EVERYTHING and MORE!!

And here is the poem I began but just knew it wasn’t good enough….

She’s gone

The tears stain my cheeks

Because she’s gone

And I’m left to reminisce about our weeks

Together

We were united

Creating memories together

Feeling alive, our love reignited

Unforgettable moments

Watching you pour into your grands

So many unforgettable moments

From drying tiny toes to holding little hands

Your warmth

Encompasses us, and hugs kept us safe 

We welcomed your warmth

As nothing beats your loving embrace