Balancing Act…

Hmm imagine the conundrum you would face if hypothetically this was your morning….

Scenario: You wake up to the tantalising sound of screaming kids, stools screeching, bowls crashing to the floor, and opt for 5 more minutes of peace and serenity hidden behind a 30ml width and 7ft height wooden boundary – yes a door!! Your bedroom door practically becomes the gate keeper between your sanity and insanity.

I digress…

Let’s say, you slowly disembark your bed, enjoy a steamy hot shower (imagine it’s Winter) and sing “This is Me” from The Greatest Showman soundtrack to help motivate and inspire your already active morning. You pop out of the shower, proceed to get dressed and as you open the gate (meaning your door) you hear the magical gong and see an effervescent light….

Sorry I digress again…

You hurdle over the strewn toys all over the floor, the empty containers used as toys, you block out the blaring ABC Kids channel (even though it shouldn’t be on on a school day anyway), you place your hand on the kitchen bench to brush away the crumbs which lay beneath your feet only to raise your hand and find crumbs under there as well, you close the kitchen cupboards unsurprisingly left wide open and flick the switch to turn on the kettle!

Yes, yes a strong coffee is always needed…actually it’s a requirement as a Mum and you require two!! You retrieve your favourite mug from out of the dish drain because let’s face it, it’s utilised so often it’s never put away. Grabbing the sugar and coffee granules from the cupboard, because instant is just easier sometimes, you measure your scoops and your eyes ignite as you wait in anticipation, so eager and excited for that first smooth taste of coffee beans. The kettle whistles and you hastily pour the stifling hot water in grabbing a teaspoon out of the top drawer to stir away as if you are creating a syncopated swimming routine. You swing open the fridge and reach into the side door to grab the milk….you swing open the fridge and reach into the side door to grab the milk….grab the milk…..the milk. Where is the milk? You look back at the kitchen bench occupied by 3 cups beaming with traces of the last drops of milk. You are no more good. Where’s the Good Samaritan when you need them? The next door neighbour willing to offer their bottle, carton, jar or desperate times call for desperate measures….even a box of milk kept in the cupboard for moments like these? A bit of goat’s milk, soy milk, almond milk, coconut milk, right now anything will do your moment of sheer desperation…but you have nothing. You weigh your options of drinking the coffee black but you foresee the impending disappointment if that is the choice you select. In the background the kids are destroying the house and you haven’t even begun school morning routine in your panic for your morning medicine! You reach out to a few friends understanding some may possibly be just as busy as you are and some seem to offer a hand. You get excited over their gestures to assist, they may question what time you are you leaving, or state they are popping to the shops, so you graciously await the genuine offer to grab you a litre or two while they are there….and nothing! You thought you were chasing a lead and nothing! You know it’s time to get the kids ready for school, the black coffee is getting cold, and you settle for orange juice in a glass. Your morning happy vibes depleted, your house under kid arrest and you’ve missed your window of coffee bean opportunity. Welcome to the disappointment of Shallow Invites!!

This day in age people want to rely less and less on others because they don’t want to carry the burden of the disappointment. Why should people feel disappointed? Maybe the question should be, why wouldn’t you be? Family, friends, others (including the media) prompt and encourage us to ask for help when needed, but yet how many of them actually hear our calls and aren’t just listening to them? How many visibly see their friends distressed, no matter how seemingly insignificant the issue may be, and yet can not offer up possibly 20mins of their time to assist in resolving or eradicating the issue? Are we truly that busy? Or that self consumed we no longer back the hand we offer?

I am certain a few of my friends do not lean on my services due to my schedule of 3 kids, their extracurricular activities, their other parents, school, being heavily pregnant, running a dance studio, the list is endless, but I do have friends both local and overseas that know regardless of my circumstances, if I am able to I will go out of my way to ensure I am available. Sometimes obligations pose a threat to availability, as sadly we can’t physically be in two places at once, but I believe I make a conscious effort to keep my word. If I have to cancel at least I issue the notification in advance. We are all only human and can only try but we must make a sincere effort to hear others more and not just listen. Sometimes we must make ourselves available because between the lines their may be a very vulnerable person on the verge of a breakdown that is seeking revival. Times have changed and pressures have increased as we continue to age and mature, but it is important to invest in others, invest in relationships, remain trustworthy, loyal and honest. If this can not be achieved, how are we to set the example for the next generation of whom we already fear we are losing to social media in-turn lacking interpersonal skills? The next time a friend asks for a little assistance, respond with intent to assist, not to counter-comment with how busy your day is ahead! There’s a vast difference between listening and hearing, the latter is more useful!